So I guess talkin about shit doesn’t help anything when things arent resolved with the concurred solutions.  After staying up till 2 freaken thirty A.M. last nite, my roommates and I came to the solution with the parking that we would leave our keys at the apt if we aren’t using the car.  CLEARLY, this is the most LOGICAL explanation… and would resolve everything. BUT WAIT there’s more, WHY WOULD THEY DO that? THAT would be TOO convenient. Why would they make my life easier?! Or anyone’s life easier, for that matter. F***** shit. How incompetent.  VERY INCOMPETENT. I don’t like living here for such matters. Its like im living my life in hell right now.  Its funny. Man.. ive never felt so damn upset and disappointed… sigh. Oh freaken well. It can only get better once ur down here.   BLEH. Good riddens..   

Do you ever feel like something is missing?  Not literally…but take it as it is.. cuz I feel like that sometimes too, emotionally and physically… wat do u think it is? I have never felt so determined to do perfectly well this quarter.  Oddly, ive been studying much and all that good stuff. Im not sure what I want. Maybe if I can do everything I can, then I will definitely know what I want.  Sigh.

Gawd, recently, I’ve been thinking about graduating…which is odd, because it was just yesterday that I got accepted into ucla…and now, given less than two more years, I will be venturing off into the real world. Harsh, scary… sorta exciting? Uhm.. not yet.

On a happier note, I have work tomorrow at relax with my dearest pal allie. Gawd I love that girl… J and I cant wait till this weekend when we’re all gonna party it up … well, this definitely shall be continued… look forward to it

Im so over it.. things really slip thru my fingers.. i wish i could slowly reel things in... this seems to happen to me a lot.. which is why i may seem to have pessimistic views about a lot .. but more so, i think im more realistic than anything...realistic and practical..sometimes, i wish i had someone to listen to me... and i can tell em anything..i mean, dont get me wrong, i definitely have friends like that... but i want someone that im closer too.. im not sure if im even makin this sound like i want it to... i guess all i want is someone that i can just vent to, and not say a word. maybe he'll be super nice to me or something and make me feel better... actually screw that.. i just want someone that i can talk to ..and i know is listening... but then again..i have that here..sometimes.  dzien is a great character...i finally spoke to him today, after not talking to him in 23 years..which made me miss him more..and realize what a great pal he is... good people are so hard to come by..u know...well maybe not necessarily "GOOD" but perhaps... someone that understands you? ya, thats exactly what i mean.  dzien realizes that ive come to the time where im becoming "SLOPPY" or so he says. haha. which is hilarious to me, because i think it's true..he told me that my expectations have lowered and that im settling for anything.  I kinda feel so too.. but that’s beyond the point. I don’t really ask for much in life… or do i?  well I guess I just hope for the best and expect the worse..i mean, that is such a practical yet great ideal. Because remember, things that don’t kill you, only make u stronger. Bleh to that. Nonsense..hhaha anyway, on another note.. ill be heading to the counselors tomorrow.. to figure what I want to do with my life.  Tough, I know… but I have to…can no longer digress… I have to graduate in 4 years.. otherwise.. the parents will knock me upside the head… but my plan is to go to spain in summer 2004 and to go to nyc again… lets see which will actually happen.. considering I am broke now.  HAAHAAA. But id love to do both… and there’s so much I want to do this year… I hope to join a few things.. and keep me on my toes. But who knows, I have no time as of now… bleh… ok , time for bed 9am class manana and work at ucla relax 1-7pm .. come visit! Till then..ciao

so i just saw swingers today.. best line that stuck out was "YOU only notice what you DON't HAVE... you should always notice what you DO HAVE...YOU are lucky" im not sure if i have the exact dialog .. but that stuck out to me...it did get me thinking...especially since it is now 4:13am... anyway, lots have happened since ive last posted. i want to post more..and ill try, now that i have dsl my life right now is going thru some awkward bumps in the road... i dont know which path to take... and which direction to follow... i feel so lost. 

secondly, ive had something burst my bubble recently, but i dont think i want to really post it up here... i just dont want to feel like ive disappointed myself or my parents... and as of now, i feel ive reached nothing.. my high climax in life..suddenly is my lowest downfall..but hey, it could be worse...

on a happier note, my mother and father bought for me a new 2003 civic... woo hoo.. its really asian. i love it... my parents are the best... no doubt about that...

on a suckier note... due to the inconveniences of driving in westwood, i do not have parking at my apt.. well, i do, but i have to rotate every other week with my roomy...sucky part is, i already got a $30 ticket ... i could swear parking enforcement has no heart... and they are perhaps the most hated people in westwood/ los angeles, for that matter.

i finally got dsl up... im so excited.... oh ya...living in the apartments, WAY so much cooler than the dorms.. well not WAY.. but hey, they both have their perks.. but i love my apartment... well..time to hit the sack..for yet another adventurous-and-unforecasted day.... oh and btw, workin at lucky brand tomorrow, sunday from 3-close..come visit!

wow, only one more week of summer and back to school...as a third year. man, does time fly... especially when you're having a great time... i really enjoy this part of my life, i must admit...although i am going through a few bumps in the road, i must say that it only is helping me... im glad ive faced the many challenges that i have..and surpassed it all.. to bring me where i am today.   although i must conquer all my dreams...it is mighty difficult. i mean, regardless of how you get to where you want, it works out ...and its basically, getting there that matters...and all those difficult-to-reach-goals... only means more when attained.  thats what ive learned this past week.. and mind you, everything happens for a reason... really.  this week is my last week at morgan stanley.. but oddly, another financial advisor offered me a paid internship position...in pasadena.. sucky for me..i dunno if i can work it. i mean, i CAN work on fridays... but of course, id like to work more.  lets just see how this was all meant to put into play for me...on another note, jenny is in town, and its her wedding friday.. gawd, shes married.  so unreal, yet so believable.. i guess everyone is just growin up..i know for  a fact i wont be getting married anytime soon...

so nyu sent me a flyer to study there in spring... what a great temptation..but if id have to choose between spain and new york, i must definitely choose spain.  i REALLY want to study abroad in spain summer 2004... how awesome would that be

my brother is going to hawaii on thursday with his "family" ..yes , that sounds SO Odd to me.. but ya, he's takin the bratty niece..and im so jealous.. im gonna miss her... shes way to adorable beyond words can explain...

i love lucky brand...